








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,244 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1700 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1482 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1403 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1659 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $568,043 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eddy | 52% | 31 |
| #2 | sWAN_ | 44% | 79 |
| #3 | Fabi_ | 44% | 91 |
| #4 | MerkNix | 42% | 113 |
| #5 | Kontrabandist | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MerkNix | 42% | 113 |
| #5 | Kontrabandist | 39% | 31 |
| #6 | Shmilus | 37% | 49 |
| #7 | marce7💫 | 33% | 33 |
| #8 | Minapu | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabi_ | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Kontrabandist | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | MerkNix | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Shmilus | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | marce7💫 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabi_ | 291 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | sWAN_ | 290 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | MerkNix | 150 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Shmilus | 120 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | marce7💫 | 117 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kontrabandist | +2.62 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | sWAN_ | +1.85 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | eddy | +0.08 | 55 | 61 |
| #4 | MerkNix | +0.07 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | Fabi_ | -0.05 | 62 | 73 |





