








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2084 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2160 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2506 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3022 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,440,656 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | AlvaroNiszczyciel | 44% | 141 |
| #10 | omit | 44% | 71 |
| #11 | Don Mo Lester | 42% | 152 |
| #12 | Jeff The King | 40% | 108 |
| #13 | High Baby | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff The King | 21 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Don Mo Lester | 20 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | AlvaroNiszczyciel | 17 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Attracker | 10 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | omit | 6 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Mo Lester | 330 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Forci | 325 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | AlvaroNiszczyciel | 273 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Attracker | 272 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jeff The King | 221 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan Pablo | +6.17 | 90 | 53 |
| #2 | High Baby | +3.57 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | Attracker | +1.74 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | Forci | +1.64 | 54 | 77 |
| #5 | Disconnected | +0.63 | 68 | 68 |





