








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2030 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2506 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1236 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2491 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $926,140 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | k | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Henlo Am Terrorist | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | Mind Goblin | 58% | 269 |
| #6 | Obunga2K | 58% | 257 |
| #7 | Half eaten Nick Gurr | 57% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obunga2K | 26 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Mind Goblin | 25 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Helen Keller Driving School | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Half eaten Nick Gurr | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Henlo Am Terrorist | 3 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obunga2K | 535 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mind Goblin | 529 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #3 | Helen Keller Driving School | 475 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #4 | Half eaten Nick Gurr | 108 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | k | 101 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1lentk1ll12345 | +4.01 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | Helen Keller Driving School | +2.77 | 93 | 62 |
| #3 | k | +1.62 | 89 | 61 |
| #4 | Henlo Am Terrorist | +0.80 | 83 | 77 |
| #5 | Obunga2K | -0.37 | 78 | 47 |





