








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 50 | 6% |
| Smokes | 231 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 263 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 356 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $46,071 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr0ge Detect0r | 36% | 45 |
| #2 | Smileyツ | 35% | 71 |
| #3 | Snarp | 35% | 72 |
| #4 | DoppyTheElv | 34% | 47 |
| #5 | ConfusedSchizophrenic | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr0ge Detect0r | 36% | 45 |
| #2 | Smileyツ | 35% | 71 |
| #3 | Snarp | 35% | 72 |
| #4 | DoppyTheElv | 34% | 47 |
| #5 | ConfusedSchizophrenic | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smileyツ | 62 | 0.0449 |
| #2 | Snarp | 30 | 0.0216 |
| #3 | DoppyTheElv | 23 | 0.0264 |
| #4 | ConfusedSchizophrenic | 21 | 0.0536 |
| #5 | Fr0ge Detect0r | 8 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smileyツ | 204 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Snarp | 107 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | DoppyTheElv | 58 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Fr0ge Detect0r | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | ConfusedSchizophrenic | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smileyツ | +8.98 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | Fr0ge Detect0r | +1.04 | 27 | 32 |
| #3 | Snarp | +0.10 | 64 | 22 |
| #4 | DoppyTheElv | -0.62 | 40 | 25 |
| #5 | ConfusedSchizophrenic | -3.93 | 30 | 10 |





