








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 687 | 16% |
| Smokes | 662 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1666 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1326 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,489 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forest | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | ❤90km/h Opel peek pakzu❤ | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | Anduuuz | 44% | 36 |
| #4 | HΣLL | 44% | 59 |
| #5 | Kenz | 40% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenz | 66 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | Scuffied | 14 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | mm doom | 12 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | HΣLL | 12 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Anduuuz | 7 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenz | 247 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Scuffied | 163 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Anduuuz | 109 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | kakh444 | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | HΣLL | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scuffied | +3.34 | 85 | 36 |
| #2 | Forest | +1.53 | 58 | 49 |
| #3 | HΣLL | +1.18 | 75 | 41 |
| #4 | DJkapsas | +0.61 | 66 | 34 |
| #5 | Kenz | +0.24 | 72 | 41 |





