








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2137 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2270 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1031 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1861 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,590 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jxcob | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤skitz | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Freedom35 | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | Vysoh | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | rola- | 61% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K E V | 610 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Nuwanda | 224 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | Freedom35 | 220 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | Dummythxc | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Soche | 119 | 0.17 | 3 min |





