








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2132 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1801 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1214 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1634 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,782 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 680 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oese0 | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | IreZ | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | Knubz🦧 | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | big chillin' in little cs | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | rZe7en | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oese0 | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | IreZ | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | Knubz🦧 | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | big chillin' in little cs | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | rZe7en | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IreZ | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Knubz🦧 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | oese0 | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | rZe7en | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IreZ | 77 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Knubz🦧 | 64 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | big chillin' in little cs | 63 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | oese0 | 19 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | rZe7en | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schumi | +1.92 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Knubz🦧 | +1.05 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | IreZ | -0.41 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | oese0 | -0.77 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | rZe7en | -0.88 | 60 | 53 |





