










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 2 different maps


Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13 | 33% |
| Smokes | 13 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 8 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,200 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πTaxiπ | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | CEO SBE CASH MAN | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | SloppyToppy | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | yakub | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πTaxiπ | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | CEO SBE CASH MAN | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | SloppyToppy | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | yakub | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SloppyToppy | 3 | 0.0508 |
| #2 | yakub | 2 | 0.0339 |
| #3 | CEO SBE CASH MAN | 1 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | πTaxiπ | 1 | 0.0270 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SloppyToppy | 16 | 0.27 | 0 min |
| #2 | yakub | 9 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #3 | CEO SBE CASH MAN | 4 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | πTaxiπ | 3 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CEO SBE CASH MAN | +6.66 | 74 | 41 |
| #2 | πTaxiπ | -0.08 | 49 | 10 |
| #3 | yakub | -0.73 | 57 | 48 |
| #4 | SloppyToppy | -2.89 | 76 | 41 |
| #5 | ALF | -5.89 | 22 | 26 |





