








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2265 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3159 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1762 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1807 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $666,278 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizz | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | koi | 50% | 107 |
| #3 | Soraa | 49% | 97 |
| #4 | THE_LAW | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizz | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | koi | 50% | 107 |
| #3 | Soraa | 49% | 97 |
| #4 | THE_LAW | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koi | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Soraa | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koi | 263 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Soraa | 193 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Rizz | 163 | 0.40 | 4 min |
| #4 | THE_LAW | 54 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizz | +4.54 | 82 | 75 |
| #2 | Soraa | +2.24 | 72 | 54 |
| #3 | koi | -0.43 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | Reiko | -0.92 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | THE_LAW | -3.08 | 31 | 59 |





