










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 613 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 495 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6467 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6999 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4799 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4163 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,287,603 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ke1neahnung | 52% | 260 |
| #2 | jønne | 50% | 100 |
| #3 | T0llWuT/breit&bereit | 48% | 295 |
| #4 | sérox | 48% | 250 |
| #5 | Deko.O | 47% | 550 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | T0llWuT/breit&bereit | 48% | 295 |
| #4 | sérox | 48% | 250 |
| #5 | Deko.O | 47% | 550 |
| #6 | SYN9X | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | Entvive | 46% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deko.O | 9 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | sérox | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | jønne | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Entvive | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | T0llWuT/breit&bereit | 4 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deko.O | 2254 | 0.19 | 53 min |
| #2 | T0llWuT/breit&bereit | 970 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #3 | Ke1neahnung | 649 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #4 | sérox | 438 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #5 | jønne | 271 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SYN9X | +3.03 | 83 | 56 |
| #2 | sérox | +1.93 | 80 | 52 |
| #3 | Ke1neahnung | +1.66 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | Entvive | +0.92 | 66 | 43 |
| #5 | jønne | +0.79 | 77 | 62 |





