










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 195 | 44% |
| Smokes | 93 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 142 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 18 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $160,268 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | michalej | 47% | 15 |
| #2 | Thomaszowy | 36% | 11 |
| #3 | hades | 35% | 43 |
| #4 | QBERT | 33% | 15 |
| #5 | dbroo0 | 24% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | hades | 35% | 43 |
| #4 | QBERT | 33% | 15 |
| #5 | dbroo0 | 24% | 25 |
| #6 | Kubej | 20% | 5 |
| #7 | oskiklos324 | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hades | 8 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | QBERT | 5 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | michalej | 4 | 0.0131 |
| #4 | Thomaszowy | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Kubej | 1 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hades | 124 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | QBERT | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | dbroo0 | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | michalej | 19 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Thomaszowy | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hades | +4.21 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | Pan Król | +0.31 | 80 | 41 |
| #3 | michalej | -0.65 | 39 | 26 |
| #4 | QBERT | -2.11 | 27 | 29 |
| #5 | oskiklos324 | -3.33 | 22 | 23 |





