








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3690 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5028 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3713 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3546 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,180,301 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xenoslave | 15 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | mazu | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | kenny | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ChrisP.Bacon | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Ditzy | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mazu | 634 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | kenny | 599 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | Xenoslave | 555 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #4 | ChrisP.Bacon | 414 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | Ditzy | 312 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Healer | +4.16 | 82 | 49 |
| #2 | kenny | +3.46 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | Xenoslave | +2.08 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | ChrisP.Bacon | +0.40 | 61 | 50 |
| #5 | Ditzy | -0.42 | 64 | 65 |





