








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,988 | |
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3861 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3446 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2925 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2819 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,299,620 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maNex | 63% | 123 |
| #2 | Bjornstad | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | Versus | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | MaPoKen #<3! | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | fadee | 54% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fadee | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Slimen | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Enoksen | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | maNex | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | -rne | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slimen | 597 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | maNex | 523 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | -rne | 229 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | fadee | 189 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | MaPoKen #<3! | 138 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slimen | +3.94 | 88 | 83 |
| #2 | maNex | +3.65 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | -rne | +2.04 | 86 | 66 |
| #4 | Enoksen | +1.13 | 79 | 47 |
| #5 | Bjornstad | +0.96 | 75 | 65 |





