








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1034 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1241 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 797 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 763 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,413,221 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 739 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swag Messiah | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | joshE | 53% | 74 |
| #3 | blazeSF | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | duk | 50% | 104 |
| #5 | Kush Knight | 50% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | blazeSF | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | duk | 50% | 104 |
| #5 | Kush Knight | 50% | 228 |
| #6 | I'M DA BIGGEST BIRD | 48% | 220 |
| #7 | iMortal | 45% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kush Knight | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | I'M DA BIGGEST BIRD | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | blazeSF | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | iMortal | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | duk | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'M DA BIGGEST BIRD | 494 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | iMortal | 356 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | joshE | 325 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kush Knight | 242 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | duk | 204 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swag Messiah | +3.02 | 91 | 56 |
| #2 | Kush Knight | +2.02 | 93 | 53 |
| #3 | I'M DA BIGGEST BIRD | +0.64 | 78 | 57 |
| #4 | duk | +0.03 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | s4m | -0.38 | 82 | 37 |





