








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1568 | 27% |
| Smokes | 763 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2246 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1272 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $748,839 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 683 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Delicate Steve | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Swag Messiah | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | joshE | 46% | 104 |
| #4 | duk | 45% | 60 |
| #5 | s4m | 45% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | duk | 45% | 60 |
| #5 | s4m | 45% | 107 |
| #6 | Kush Knight | 42% | 92 |
| #7 | blazeSF | 40% | 97 |
| #8 | I'M DA BIGGEST BIRD | 40% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'M DA BIGGEST BIRD | 14 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | joshE | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | blazeSF | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Kush Knight | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Swag Messiah | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joshE | 409 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | blazeSF | 271 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | I'M DA BIGGEST BIRD | 214 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | s4m | 186 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | duk | 116 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swag Messiah | +3.37 | 90 | 55 |
| #2 | Delicate Steve | +2.89 | 94 | 51 |
| #3 | Kush Knight | +2.78 | 90 | 55 |
| #4 | I'M DA BIGGEST BIRD | +1.12 | 76 | 50 |
| #5 | s4m | +0.47 | 83 | 38 |





