








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 41 | 9% |
| Smokes | 186 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 106 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 121 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,372 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Americas_Finest | 36% | 11 |
| #2 | Professor Tart | 33% | 9 |
| #3 | Jewie2k | 25% | 8 |
| #4 | KyleKranks90s | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Americas_Finest | 36% | 11 |
| #2 | Professor Tart | 33% | 9 |
| #3 | Jewie2k | 25% | 8 |
| #4 | KyleKranks90s | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professor Tart | 4 | 0.0260 |
| #2 | Americas_Finest | 3 | 0.0160 |
| #3 | Jewie2k | 2 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | KyleKranks90s | 2 | 0.0164 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professor Tart | 7 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #2 | KyleKranks90s | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Jewie2k | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Americas_Finest | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Americas_Finest | +3.83 | 92 | 25 |
| #2 | Professor Tart | +1.21 | 66 | 36 |
| #3 | Jewie2k | +0.51 | 58 | 29 |
| #4 | KyleKranks90s | -0.28 | 88 | 32 |
| #5 | Jesus Dabs | -4.34 | 10 | 28 |





