








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1724 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3246 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1772 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2010 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,554 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ball Smombs | 52% | 100 |
| #5 | dirtyworks | 47% | 118 |
| #6 | pokemeng | 44% | 90 |
| #7 | dReam | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | dv8 | 41% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ball Smombs | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Glizzworth The Gobbler | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | dirtyworks | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | dv8 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | pokemeng | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glizzworth The Gobbler | 722 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | dirtyworks | 367 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | pokemeng | 281 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Ball Smombs | 255 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | dv8 | 120 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tangent | +1.19 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | dirtyworks | +1.16 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | dv8 | +1.15 | 81 | 57 |
| #4 | Glizzworth The Gobbler | +0.16 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | Ball Smombs | -1.05 | 50 | 41 |





