








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 483 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1612 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1396 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 648 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,578 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gekko | 66% | 47 |
| #2 | Linus | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Elk | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | MrMeowMeow | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Ꝁɍᵽɇłɉ | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gekko | 66% | 47 |
| #2 | Linus | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Elk | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | MrMeowMeow | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Ꝁɍᵽɇłɉ | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gekko | 14 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | Ꝁɍᵽɇłɉ | 8 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Linus | 5 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | MrMeowMeow | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Elk | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gekko | 167 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ꝁɍᵽɇłɉ | 99 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Elk | 65 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Linus | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | MrMeowMeow | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gekko | +6.89 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | Elk | +6.75 | 89 | 55 |
| #3 | Ꝁɍᵽɇłɉ | +5.46 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | sinful | -2.17 | 21 | 34 |
| #5 | Linus | -2.40 | 59 | 25 |





