








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 995 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1171 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 608 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 910 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,021 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1004 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Welshy | 68% | 41 |
| #2 | kjッ | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Eacott✫ | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | langster | 54% | 152 |
| #5 | Mr Nog | 54% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kjッ | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Eacott✫ | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | langster | 54% | 152 |
| #5 | Mr Nog | 54% | 254 |
| #6 | lilgreggors | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Nog | 58 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | langster | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | lilgreggors | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Welshy | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Eacott✫ | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Nog | 315 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Welshy | 99 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | langster | 85 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | Eacott✫ | 70 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | lilgreggors | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Nog | +2.72 | 77 | 47 |
| #2 | Eacott✫ | +1.38 | 74 | 74 |
| #3 | langster | +1.31 | 82 | 42 |
| #4 | RS. | +0.93 | 83 | 38 |
| #5 | Welshy | +0.33 | 80 | 63 |





