








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2122 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2548 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2384 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2842 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,471,985 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1800 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eacott✫ | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | langster | 57% | 193 |
| #3 | Welshy | 55% | 177 |
| #4 | kjッ | 54% | 107 |
| #5 | RS. | 54% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RS. | 84 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | langster | 15 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Welshy | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Eacott✫ | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | kjッ | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Welshy | 364 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | RS. | 289 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | kjッ | 210 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Eacott✫ | 188 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | langster | 96 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Nog | +2.63 | 77 | 46 |
| #2 | langster | +1.65 | 82 | 39 |
| #3 | Eacott✫ | +1.27 | 68 | 73 |
| #4 | Welshy | +0.57 | 83 | 62 |
| #5 | RS. | +0.06 | 82 | 39 |





