








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3412 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6006 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 3389 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2879 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,129,914 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 538 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panic! Hippo | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | Twitch_Kirtzi7 | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | J? | 63% | 48 |
| #4 | Gauta.- | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | Blue | 61% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | KunZ | 45% | 33 |
| #12 | acropHe | 45% | 51 |
| #13 | ✪ SFZ †=♥ | 38% | 47 |
| #14 | Silent | 36% | 56 |
| #15 | ch.1 | 32% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blue | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Kbisat | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | veyroN | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | J? | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Nezz | 2 | 0.0009 |





