








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 887 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 769 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7247 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5751 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7573 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4204 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,324,347 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | salvarsal | 57% | 65 |
| #2 | Zam | 56% | 59 |
| #3 | xfanxdix | 56% | 79 |
| #4 | Twitch_Kirtzi7 | 55% | 83 |
| #5 | F1kolius | 54% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | veyroN | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | xfanxdix | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | F1kolius | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | em | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Lim Yoon A | 3 | 0.0017 |





