








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2114 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2153 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1231 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2286 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $699,042 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Zucc | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | bubster | 50% | 118 |
| #3 | Tadeen | 49% | 136 |
| #4 | Toxicfrog02 | 47% | 123 |
| #5 | Southwick | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bubster | 50% | 118 |
| #3 | Tadeen | 49% | 136 |
| #4 | Toxicfrog02 | 47% | 123 |
| #5 | Southwick | 47% | 75 |
| #6 | Layalinn | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tadeen | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | bubster | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Toxicfrog02 | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Southwick | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tadeen | 367 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Toxicfrog02 | 348 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | bubster | 288 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | The Zucc | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Layalinn | 88 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Zucc | +3.57 | 70 | 59 |
| #2 | Toxicfrog02 | +2.15 | 58 | 73 |
| #3 | Layalinn | +2.08 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | Tadeen | +0.65 | 59 | 49 |
| #5 | bubster | -1.27 | 39 | 52 |





