








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 260 | 26% |
| Smokes | 262 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 273 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 200 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $116,600 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kenneth. | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | schlauchkefer | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | BuNi | 32% | 25 |
| #7 | Smitty Werben Jagger Man Jensen | 29% | 21 |
| #8 | Kenneth | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuNi | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Smitty Werben Jagger Man Jensen | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Matthew Broderick | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Kenneth. | 1 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Kenneth | 1 | 0.0238 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smitty Werben Jagger Man Jensen | 79 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | BuNi | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kenneth. | 30 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Matthew Broderick | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | schlauchkefer | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brqsko | +2.27 | 77 | 78 |
| #2 | Kenneth. | +2.22 | 54 | 71 |
| #3 | Smitty Werben Jagger Man Jensen | +0.98 | 50 | 75 |
| #4 | Matthew Broderick | +0.87 | 69 | 69 |
| #5 | Kenneth | +0.55 | 55 | 74 |





