








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1947 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1969 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2104 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2037 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,980 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUBLIC | 24 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | BillYa | 23 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Zmayus | 17 | 0.0167 |
| #4 | flxcks | 10 | 0.0268 |
| #5 | Lebac<3 | 8 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BillYa | 562 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | PUBLIC | 146 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Zmayus | 143 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lebac<3 | 131 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | flxcks | 61 | 0.16 | 1 min |





