








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 578 | 13% |
| Smokes | 328 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 2156 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 1453 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $98,617 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pacific punch | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | Skrble | 46% | 129 |
| #3 | ♡ fuck you ♡ | 45% | 51 |
| #4 | Haakki | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pacific punch | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | Skrble | 46% | 129 |
| #3 | ♡ fuck you ♡ | 45% | 51 |
| #4 | Haakki | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skrble | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ♡ fuck you ♡ | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Haakki | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | pacific punch | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ fuck you ♡ | 211 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Skrble | 175 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | pacific punch | 127 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Haakki | 40 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ fuck you ♡ | +6.19 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | pacific punch | +5.19 | 78 | 62 |
| #3 | ミARCTIC | -0.13 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | Skrble | -2.27 | 40 | 55 |
| #5 | Haakki | -4.20 | 27 | 53 |





