








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 691 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4234 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3856 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6493 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4246 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,125,815 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 867 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ fuck you ♡ | 66% | 189 |
| #2 | pacific punch | 60% | 327 |
| #3 | ミARCTIC | 46% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ fuck you ♡ | 66% | 189 |
| #2 | pacific punch | 60% | 327 |
| #3 | ミARCTIC | 46% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pacific punch | 19 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ♡ fuck you ♡ | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | ミARCTIC | 14 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pacific punch | 1286 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | ♡ fuck you ♡ | 745 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #3 | ミARCTIC | 85 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ fuck you ♡ | +7.88 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | pacific punch | +6.57 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | ミARCTIC | -0.30 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | Skrble | -1.41 | 42 | 52 |





