








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5506 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4235 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2756 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3467 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $495,917 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkish | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Saucy | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | Seagal | 50% | 131 |
| #4 | Stxne_ | 50% | 96 |
| #5 | Boosted | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkish | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Saucy | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | Seagal | 50% | 131 |
| #4 | Stxne_ | 50% | 96 |
| #5 | Boosted | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seagal | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Stxne_ | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Boosted | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Hawkish | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seagal | 577 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | Stxne_ | 195 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Boosted | 160 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Saucy | 97 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hawkish | 81 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aust5n | +2.42 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | Boosted | +2.36 | 86 | 41 |
| #3 | Saucy | +1.49 | 76 | 74 |
| #4 | Seagal | -0.46 | 63 | 54 |
| #5 | Stxne_ | -0.62 | 42 | 40 |





