








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1588 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1191 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1174 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1091 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $881,182 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Numfa | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | WiZ | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Wittix | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | rexvmp | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | provoloan | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Depressed Pulse | 53% | 17 |
| #7 | ♡ Gr1ff1n ♡ | 52% | 33 |
| #8 | DirtyPigeon | 48% | 29 |
| #9 | Gabehasbongo | 40% | 15 |
| #10 | LizardKingTTV | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | provoloan | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | LizardKingTTV | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | WiZ | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Depressed Pulse | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Gabehasbongo | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DirtyPigeon | 84 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | ♡ Gr1ff1n ♡ | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gabehasbongo | 72 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | provoloan | 60 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | rexvmp | 60 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabehasbongo | +2.61 | 62 | 67 |
| #2 | Numfa | +2.60 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | LizardKingTTV | +2.34 | 67 | 52 |
| #4 | WiZ | +1.85 | 40 | 59 |
| #5 | DirtyPigeon | +0.81 | 66 | 64 |





