








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1598 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1265 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 337 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1457 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $616,918 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | ato | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Big Clum | 54% | 160 |
| #4 | TayZz | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | Havok | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ato | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Big Clum | 54% | 160 |
| #4 | TayZz | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | Havok | 36% | 22 |
| #6 | Cxzza | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Clum | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | TayZz | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | L | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Havok | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | ato | 2 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Clum | 582 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | L | 227 | 0.37 | 6 min |
| #3 | Havok | 106 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | TayZz | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | ato | 43 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ato | +3.51 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | Big Clum | +0.98 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | The Dinkster | +0.31 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | Havok | -0.02 | 67 | 66 |
| #5 | TayZz | -1.24 | 44 | 56 |





