








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1129 | 35% |
| Smokes | 579 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 833 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 649 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $394,732 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eXILED™ | 163 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | MadlyInAnger | 40 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | El Pollo | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Why is the Enemy Team so Bad? | 20 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dirt | 13 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Pollo | +2.91 | 81 | 74 |
| #2 | Dirt | +2.27 | 87 | 62 |
| #3 | Why is the Enemy Team so Bad? | +0.57 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | MadlyInAnger | +0.39 | 58 | 52 |
| #5 | llllllllllllllllll | +0.15 | 79 | 51 |





