








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1139 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1665 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1261 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 801 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $403,264 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr_Pointblank | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | El Pollo | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Butters | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Bubbles ♡ | 48% | 79 |
| #5 | eXILED™ | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eXILED™ | 12 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Dirt | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Bubbles ♡ | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | El Pollo | 5 | 0.0135 |
| #5 | Grom | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Pollo | +2.51 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | Dirt | +1.96 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | Bubbles ♡ | +1.18 | 77 | 70 |
| #4 | Dr_Pointblank | +0.99 | 65 | 74 |
| #5 | Grom | -0.35 | 72 | 63 |





