








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1796 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2303 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1782 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2412 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,071,174 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1541 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starchy | 58% | 219 |
| #2 | Quaaludes | 54% | 91 |
| #3 | martin | 53% | 154 |
| #4 | Zulog | 52% | 269 |
| #5 | ุ | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starchy | 58% | 219 |
| #2 | Quaaludes | 54% | 91 |
| #3 | martin | 53% | 154 |
| #4 | Zulog | 52% | 269 |
| #5 | ุ | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zulog | 44 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | martin | 28 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Quaaludes | 16 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | starchy | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ุ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starchy | 671 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | Zulog | 652 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | Quaaludes | 246 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | martin | 218 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | ุ | 99 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starchy | +2.73 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | ุ | +2.23 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | Zulog | +1.12 | 71 | 57 |
| #4 | nlv | -0.39 | 71 | 47 |
| #5 | martin | -0.46 | 68 | 39 |





