








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2377 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1802 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1418 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1475 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,259,219 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 519 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starchy | 58% | 168 |
| #2 | martin | 54% | 108 |
| #3 | nlv | 52% | 269 |
| #4 | ุ | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | Quaaludes | 49% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starchy | 58% | 168 |
| #2 | martin | 54% | 108 |
| #3 | nlv | 52% | 269 |
| #4 | ุ | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | Quaaludes | 49% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | martin | 21 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | nlv | 17 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Quaaludes | 17 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | starchy | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ุ | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starchy | 491 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | nlv | 304 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | Quaaludes | 292 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | martin | 174 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | ุ | 127 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starchy | +3.02 | 87 | 58 |
| #2 | ุ | +1.85 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Zulog | +1.08 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | Quaaludes | -0.75 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | nlv | -0.79 | 68 | 47 |





