










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12 | 1% |
| Smokes | 239 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 519 | 51% |
| Molotovs | 239 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $266,714 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | le kainri IX : Disastrous Life | 21 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Der_Blaue_Katze | 14 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | Peugeot 206 | 5 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | Sparte | 4 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | Sparteuh | 3 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | le kainri IX : Disastrous Life | 275 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Der_Blaue_Katze | 128 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Peugeot 206 | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sparteuh | 54 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sparte | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Satanyah | +7.56 | 52 | 42 |
| #2 | Sparte | +6.50 | 69 | 45 |
| #3 | Bounty_ | +4.80 | 46 | 50 |
| #4 | Sparteuh | +3.69 | 69 | 62 |
| #5 | Spreet | +1.79 | 49 | 56 |





