










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 954 | 27% |
| Smokes | 936 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 862 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 800 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $686,760 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bounty_ | 49% | 45 |
| #2 | Floppa | 44% | 34 |
| #3 | Satanyah | 43% | 47 |
| #4 | HONK | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | THE BOSS | 41% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Satanyah | 43% | 47 |
| #4 | HONK | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | THE BOSS | 41% | 95 |
| #6 | TheGreatMer | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | le kainri IX : Disastrous Life | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Satanyah | 24 | 0.0258 |
| #2 | THE BOSS | 16 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | HONK | 6 | 0.0182 |
| #4 | Bounty_ | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Floppa | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bounty_ | 154 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | THE BOSS | 146 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Satanyah | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | HONK | 55 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Floppa | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Satanyah | +3.63 | 48 | 46 |
| #2 | Bounty_ | +2.21 | 41 | 52 |
| #3 | Spreet | +1.65 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | TheGreatMer | -2.07 | 20 | 30 |
| #5 | Floppa | -2.25 | 30 | 37 |





