








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 752 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2311 | 51% |
| HE Grenades | 345 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1107 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,343 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PEMBINA UPACARA | 62% | 94 |
| #2 | npc | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | bengk0k | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | Ryan Jack | 51% | 137 |
| #5 | Yamada神 | 48% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | npc | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | bengk0k | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | Ryan Jack | 51% | 137 |
| #5 | Yamada神 | 48% | 109 |
| #6 | Trackpad Warrior | 48% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryan Jack | 37 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | PEMBINA UPACARA | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | bengk0k | 11 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | Trackpad Warrior | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Yamada神 | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryan Jack | 267 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Trackpad Warrior | 100 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Yamada神 | 44 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | PEMBINA UPACARA | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| #5 | bengk0k | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bengk0k | +6.88 | 93 | 11 |
| #2 | PEMBINA UPACARA | +5.86 | 93 | 4 |
| #3 | npc | +4.89 | 93 | 7 |
| #4 | Yamada神 | +0.79 | 74 | 34 |
| #5 | Ryan Jack | +0.06 | 51 | 35 |





