








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4911 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3442 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2732 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2718 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,057,350 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KalluB | 52% | 33 |
| #6 | Kage | 51% | 150 |
| #7 | AceNico | 48% | 40 |
| #8 | maikouu | 45% | 29 |
| #9 | Hugekk | 39% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kage | 266 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | JulllE | 222 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Hugekk | 99 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | AceNico | 76 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mambo | 76 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mambo | +4.11 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | Kage | +3.32 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | JulllE | +0.78 | 84 | 51 |
| #4 | Poromasa | +0.17 | 47 | 60 |
| #5 | AleksiB | -0.31 | 56 | 58 |





