








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 551 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 720 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4075 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4435 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3820 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3869 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,655,844 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juti | 53% | 133 |
| #2 | Poromasa | 52% | 392 |
| #3 | Kage | 50% | 426 |
| #4 | Mambo | 50% | 592 |
| #5 | Ve1kka | 45% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juti | 53% | 133 |
| #2 | Poromasa | 52% | 392 |
| #3 | Kage | 50% | 426 |
| #4 | Mambo | 50% | 592 |
| #5 | Ve1kka | 45% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mambo | 9 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Kage | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Poromasa | 1 | 0.0001 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mambo | 1550 | 0.12 | 44 min |
| #2 | Kage | 1338 | 0.15 | 38 min |
| #3 | Poromasa | 551 | 0.07 | 17 min |
| #4 | Ve1kka | 439 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | Juti | 227 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ve1kka | +1.72 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | Mambo | +0.69 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | Kage | +0.64 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | Poromasa | -0.26 | 47 | 64 |
| #5 | KalluB | -0.63 | 80 | 46 |





