








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 812 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1063 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 892 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 731 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $536,454 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 639 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScoutChamp | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | toegoblin420 | 41% | 129 |
| #3 | sex haver | 41% | 78 |
| #4 | Camaro Wagon | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScoutChamp | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | toegoblin420 | 41% | 129 |
| #3 | sex haver | 41% | 78 |
| #4 | Camaro Wagon | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toegoblin420 | 35 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | ScoutChamp | 10 | 0.0179 |
| #3 | sex haver | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Camaro Wagon | 3 | 0.0216 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toegoblin420 | 56 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #2 | sex haver | 21 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #3 | ScoutChamp | 18 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScoutChamp | +3.90 | 94 | 25 |
| #2 | Camaro Wagon | +0.37 | 93 | 23 |
| #3 | Frank Chile | -0.39 | 40 | 50 |
| #4 | sex haver | -0.83 | 55 | 22 |
| #5 | toegoblin420 | -2.74 | 41 | 38 |





