








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1020 | 36% |
| Smokes | 646 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 735 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 430 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,835 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Enemy Greeni | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | 123132321 | 41% | 68 |
| #9 | Kalterk | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | Jurgen_Kukoin | 38% | 21 |
| #11 | PiriJori | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123132321 | 29 | 0.0215 |
| #2 | M'Baku Korhonen | 16 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | prkl | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | PiriJori | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Jurgen_Kukoin | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M'Baku Korhonen | 285 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | 123132321 | 230 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jurgen_Kukoin | 51 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | prkl | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | PiriJori | 50 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KettuV | +2.59 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | prkl | +1.54 | 69 | 55 |
| #3 | 123132321 | +1.14 | 64 | 54 |
| #4 | Arles | +0.66 | 63 | 48 |
| #5 | BOT ♿ | +0.65 | 70 | 55 |





