








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,310 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4407 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2170 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1750 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2983 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $471,989 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jooner | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | ThatSucks | 60% | 99 |
| #3 | DrWeitzBro | 55% | 62 |
| #4 | KrapS | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | mjm15cs | 53% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrWeitzBro | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | ThatSucks | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Biebs- | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Jooner | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Joshua. | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThatSucks | 368 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | DrWeitzBro | 232 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Biebs- | 224 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | mjm15cs | 154 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Joshua. | 141 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | +2.13 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | psychopyro | +1.91 | 81 | 34 |
| #3 | Jooner | +1.31 | 84 | 46 |
| #4 | KrapS | +0.27 | 64 | 65 |
| #5 | ThatSucks | -0.25 | 63 | 56 |





