








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 707 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 377 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6449 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6810 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6483 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5918 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $536,253 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 669 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ cROSS ツ | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | Eliash2009 | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | Mac0r | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | M44RuP | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | JeyMarFlick | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | M44RuP | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | JeyMarFlick | 50% | 48 |
| #6 | emefKay | 48% | 48 |
| #7 | Stryhns | 47% | 62 |
| #8 | ぷ LOTTO | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mac0r | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ★ cROSS ツ | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Eliash2009 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | M44RuP | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emefKay | 204 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | ぷ LOTTO | 141 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mac0r | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Eliash2009 | 73 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Stryhns | 70 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tibznor | +1.96 | 58 | 75 |
| #2 | Mac0r | +1.38 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | Eliash2009 | +1.31 | 71 | 79 |
| #4 | ★ cROSS ツ | +0.82 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | emefKay | +0.71 | 73 | 77 |





