








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1325 | 30% |
| Smokes | 963 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1180 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 947 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,799 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | muuhlin;) | 57% | 35 |
| #9 | Krizzlybär | 53% | 117 |
| #10 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 53% | 17 |
| #11 | UniqueUser | 50% | 48 |
| #12 | SniZz | 23% | 13 |





