








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1875 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2031 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3141 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2153 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,383,787 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuqqboi | 53% | 226 |
| #2 | Deluxe | 53% | 172 |
| #3 | numi (✿◠‿◠) | 50% | 275 |
| #4 | Krizzlybär | 45% | 113 |
| #5 | Kuri | 44% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | numi (✿◠‿◠) | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Kuri | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | fuqqboi | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Krizzlybär | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Deluxe | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuqqboi | 302 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Deluxe | 243 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | numi (✿◠‿◠) | 229 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | Krizzlybär | 117 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kuri | 101 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuqqboi | +2.98 | 58 | 65 |
| #2 | Kuri | +0.83 | 42 | 62 |
| #3 | numi (✿◠‿◠) | +0.18 | 56 | 44 |
| #4 | haha jus kidding | -0.63 | 50 | 50 |
| #5 | Deluxe | -1.07 | 36 | 51 |





