








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4468 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2054 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3513 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2306 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,584 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | banas monkey :DDDD | 50% | 54 |
| #6 | Könhelm | 47% | 58 |
| #7 | MakkisB | 46% | 37 |
| #8 | Jasu | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | z) | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elsa | 19 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Könhelm | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | MakkisB | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Jasu | 4 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ Testoo | 3 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elsa | 464 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Könhelm | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | MakkisB | 106 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | z) | 97 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Quazver | 84 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elsa | +1.83 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | Quazver | +1.79 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | z) | +1.41 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | MakkisB | +0.99 | 55 | 55 |
| #5 | Ribuloosi-5-fosfaatti | -0.32 | 52 | 73 |





