








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 228 | 14% |
| Smokes | 529 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 452 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 401 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $559,517 of utility $291 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quazver | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤ Testoo | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Rusakko662 | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Könhelm | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | Elsa | 55% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Könhelm | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | Elsa | 55% | 62 |
| #6 | z) | 50% | 20 |
| #7 | MakkisB | 50% | 26 |
| #8 | Ribuloosi-5-fosfaatti | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ribuloosi-5-fosfaatti | 15 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | Elsa | 11 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Könhelm | 6 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ Testoo | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | MakkisB | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elsa | 216 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ribuloosi-5-fosfaatti | 212 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | z) | 87 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | MakkisB | 84 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Könhelm | 65 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z) | +3.23 | 64 | 73 |
| #2 | Quazver | +1.82 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | Elsa | +1.50 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ Testoo | +0.62 | 49 | 38 |
| #5 | MakkisB | -0.12 | 51 | 58 |





