








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1356 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2493 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 1592 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 262 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $955,823 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kotson | 60% | 15 |
| #6 | Yolonafide | 59% | 29 |
| #7 | INSOLANT | 57% | 68 |
| #8 | White | 53% | 15 |
| #9 | м ✗ נ к | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SankiewiczoV | +4.10 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | SPIERDOLONA GRA | +0.89 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | ⛧ Zbaru ❟❛❟ | -0.08 | 61 | 30 |
| #4 | INSOLANT | -0.61 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | Yolonafide | -0.63 | 49 | 66 |





