








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1261 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1005 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1484 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1564 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $271,063 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | mate | 48% | 54 |
| #5 | Greenish | 48% | 105 |
| #6 | 🪐𝖗𝖑𝖓𝕯𝖘𝖔𝖔𝕹🪐🥤 | 46% | 35 |
| #7 | Faze Espresso Signora | 39% | 57 |
| #8 | 𝙒𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝘽 | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🪐𝖗𝖑𝖓𝕯𝖘𝖔𝖔𝕹🪐🥤 | 106 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Greenish | 94 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | papa | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | mate | 58 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jäg'R | 54 | 0.18 | 1 min |





