








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,092 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6274 | 42% |
| Smokes | 4268 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1323 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 3227 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,976 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 713 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cas | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | sh00ze | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | Stump | 71% | 31 |
| #4 | slyfox | 70% | 46 |
| #5 | JP | 57% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Stump | 71% | 31 |
| #4 | slyfox | 70% | 46 |
| #5 | JP | 57% | 91 |
| #6 | SJL | 55% | 31 |
| #7 | Lebaron Yams | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JP | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | SJL | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Stump | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | sh00ze | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | slyfox | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JP | 320 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | slyfox | 200 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Stump | 100 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | SJL | 77 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | sh00ze | 56 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | helio | +4.04 | 88 | 83 |
| #2 | Stump | +1.47 | 83 | 70 |
| #3 | JP | +0.93 | 59 | 61 |
| #4 | cas | +0.43 | 75 | 51 |
| #5 | slyfox | +0.07 | 75 | 70 |





